Friday, March 6, 2009

There is a lovely discussion going on between some lovely lady bloggers and I learned long ago not to get in the middle of a cat fight, but it can be fun to throw gas on fires. Pardon my mixed metaphor but if you assume the cat fight turned into a wildfire it makes more sense. Actually I have a very funny story about why you don't get in the middle of a cat fight. I was on a swim team and one day two girls got into a serious fight. The coach tried to get in there to break it up but ended up getting clawed and bitten, so he did the next logical thing, he picked up the fur ball and chunked them both into the pool. The stopped fighting when they realized they couldn't breathe underwater.

So anyways, this is a response to a comment made over at Kat's blog in this post. I almost made the comment there but felt that I didn't want to get in the middle.

I worked with a guy from the Arkansas Ozarks and this really nice guy form like Iowa or something. Everyone would always rip on each other and pull pranks and such but the Iowa guy was just too nice and never really said anything mean ever.

Then one day the three of us are doing a job and the Arkansas guy is just going on and on about something when the Iowa guy looks up and says, "I see your lips moving but all I hear is Banjo music."

I was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down my face.

That is what the waa waa waaa waa wa reminds me of now.

On a side note, if I ever get pulled over in West VA or Arkansas I will likely not survive.

(please remember to multiple all vowels not spoken by me by 5, I left it out to make it somewhat easier to read)

Officer: doya knu wha a pulchyaover sun?

Me: I see your lips moving but all I hear is Banjo music

Officer: whaja satme boi?

Me: Yeah, still banjo.

Officer: GETOUT THE CAR

Me: Hey look he can speak English.

(few days later)

Judge: Y'stan accuuuuuuuuuuuuuuused a saltin n ofisir of te pis. Howdya plid?

Me: (imitates the guitar response in dueling banjos)

Yep I think I'd be there a great long while.

4 comments:

Helen said...

There is banjo music, then there is banjo music.

katdish said...

I have NEVER been in a physical fight, with the notable exception of my siblings growing up and one particularly piece of crap boyfriend. The latter wasn't really a fight as much as it was just me reigning down multiple blows to his torso while he covered his face. I like the that line from "Stripes" that goes, "Never hit anyone in anger unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it." Besides, Sherri against me would be a very unfair fight, as I am freakishly strong for a girl (and I'm not even kidding).

My motto is, "Make fun, not war". But I'm like Joe Lewis and Sherri is like the pitcher that is constantly throwing fast balls right down the center of the plate.

The banjo music line is going on my favorite little quips file, right next to this one (that was said to me by ANOTHER crappy boyfriend):

Me: What are you thinking about?

Him: If I wanted you to know, I'd be talking.

I couldn't even stay mad at him, because he made me laugh.

Nick the Geek said...

Helen,

I didn't know they had hillbillies in Russia. Fascinating (which is in the top ten most likely "last words" I will utter). Actually it is quite interesting that the music sounded distinctly Russian even coming from a banjo. I wonder how a traditional mandolin song would sound on the banjo?

Kat,
People don't fight you because they are afraid to. Same reason no one messes with the crazy guy walking down the street. :)

katdish said...

You're probably right, Nick.

I know karate, and like 5 other Japanese words.

WAX ON! WAX OFF!

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