There are a lot of really cool things about being a Youth pastor. I get to have lots of fun doing something I love. Not a lot of people can say that about their jobs. I get to help shape the lives of young men and women, even fewer people get to say that. I could go on and on but right now I want to talk about one major drawback. My 5 year old daughter loves the Youth and they love her. She likes to head in with my early on Youth night and stay with me late. She rides on the boys skate boards and hangs out with the girls. She is starting to talk about clothes and makeup with these girls. Trust me, this is a huge problem. A couple weeks ago she was sitting out with a group of young teen girls while they were talking about relationships and friends and such. One of the girls she was talking about had the same name as her so she thought they were talking about her. Apparently she seems to think one of the girls is like her older sister or something. They commented that the girl's step sister (who has the same name as my daughter) looks nothing like her. My daughter yells out in a perfect teen girl tude voice, "we have the same hair." Admittedly the two do have similar hair but that is about as far as the resemblance goes. My 5 year old only needs that much apparently. I do worry that she is going to have her little heart broken if there is some kind of falling out between her friends in the Youth group and some of the girls stop coming. I know this is a real possibility. Just last weekend one of the newer girls became pariah because of a big teen meltdown and so she isn't going to be coming any more. Fortunately for my daughter she didn't get close to this girl but I do worry for her. I don't want to hold her back. I think it is really cool that she gets to see some of these things before she goes through them. We talk on the way to and from church about this and she is really starting to get it. BTW Helen, you can't have this one. She is really starting to get cool and interesting. I'll send you the other girl but you'll be sending her back. The look is only getting stronger. Soon we'll have to register her as a lethal weapon. Anyways, I'm getting distracted so I'll leave it as that.
Friday, April 3, 2009
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8 comments:
My little girl doesn't hang around youth all the time and she seems to be picking up some of these things from nowhere. I'm sure yours is a stronger case, but I'm still amazed. At any rate, I can feel for ya...
I'll take her anyway. Hungarians get a special look on their face, too when they are ticked, so she will fit right in the family.
So, this might seem odd, but I'm worried about the girl that doesn't come to youth group anymore because there was some drama. Is she okay? I obviously don't know the specifics, but I hope she's involved in a church (or has some good friends) somewhere...
LOVED your April Fool's prank!
jason,
It seems like kids are growing up faster than ever, but maybe that is just in my head. I do know that spending lots of time with the Youth does leave my daughter thinking she is older, but she still loves her little girls stuff so its cool for now. If she starts talking about dating I'm gonna have to pull the plug.
Helen,
Her look is powerful indeed and given freely and often. Impressive by itself but when you consider her age it makes is even more impressive.
Luckygirl,
I wish I had more news about the other girl. I got the info on Tuesday that she wouldn't be coming and so I started asking for details. It started coming out from multiple sources what happened. Of course even though there are several sources they all tell one side of the story. She had only been a couple of times so I don't know her very well at all. One of the things we are working on is getting several churches into place with follow-up and through for situations just like this. If there is a relationship blowup in one church we can try to make sure another church follows up to make sure the ones on the outside don't end up falling through the cracks. This isn't in place yet but I am working with a couple other YPs so as I find out more I will try to make sure she doesn't fall through the cracks.
All I can tell you is that I'll be praying for you. My friend Julie (whose hubby was the youth pastor at our old church) has a daughter that is super sweet, but is 8 going on 18 due mostly to the fact that she grew up surrounded by the youth group. She started getting a really snarky attitude (eye rolls, hair flips, the whole 9 yards). Teenagers think that is SUPER CUTE, and often encouraged that type of behavior. Fortunately, that family is down with the whole "Spare the rod, spoil the child" thing, and they nipped it in the bud.
katdish,
ru sure she didn't get the whole snarky attitude from you? I could believe it.
Of course we believe in a plethora of discipline options including good old fashioned spankings. I try to work with positive reinforcement more but back that up with punishments. I like a well rounded discipline system.
No Nick. I'm talking bout girly snark, not do you really want to know if I'm kidding snark. Completely different.
oooooh, ok thanks for clarifying. As a guy I sometimes miss the subtleties of snarkiness.
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