Friday, June 12, 2009

Chapter 1: A god Among Men

It was an amazing day to be at the beach. The sun began to break over the houses behind the water causing the inky black waves to blaze with all the colors of the rainbow. Already there were surfers in the water waiting for the first big sets of the morning. Soon the beach would be too crowded for them as the sun quickly raised the temperatures from the brisk 67 degrees is was to the 91 degree forecasted temp.

This was the day of appointment, but Alex didn't know it. He sat on his board watching the sun rise and counting the seconds till he would catch one of the burning waves. He felt the swells growing as they passed through him. A few of the other surfers waiting had caught some of those for a quick first turn and were now paddling back. Alex let one more wave roll past then began chasing it down. It quickly left him behind but then a large swell rose and overtook him. He dropped in and began to cut down the wave. It was the first wave of the day big enough to form a tube and he was going to be in it. The sun was nearly blinding as the wave started to cascade over him. There really are no words to describe that experience. It is why he woke so early on his day off and got into the too cold water before the sun cleared the horizon. One might say it was like flying through a rainbow, or maybe the sun itself. As Alex approached the open end of the wave the brilliant colors gave way to the blinding sun once again and he momentarily lost his balance. Alex cut up into the wave and bit it hard as the board came down across his back. Alex rolled down under the wave and grabbed his board in time to be rolled by another wave. He was coughing as he turned into a third wave that he had to dive down under.

Alex rode a few more sets before the crowds began to fill the beach and the swells began to wane. He caught a medium ride all the way back in making sure to get off just before grinding his board across the sandy shore. Alex changed out of the wetsuit already feeling the heat of that blinding sun. Several other surfers were making plans to meet at a more secluded beach but Alex had other plans starting at lunch. He took his board and cleaned it and his wetsuit in fresh water. Alex then carefully dried his board and began looking for any damage. He liked to make sure it was in great shape so he could surf at a moment's notice. While he was going through the post surf ritual Alex saw something happening at the shore. People were screaming and coming out of the water. Alex assumed someone saw a shark and ran to see what was happening. He knew that sharks were often in these waters and regularly swam around the crowds without being noticed. If one accidentally bumped a swimmer people would trample one another trying to get out of the water.

He could see a shadow in the water through the often mirrored surface. Suddenly a man broke though the surface riding a large bull shark. The shark dogged hard, breaking left and right trying to shake the man. It was crazy beyond belief but the shark didn't have the man, instead the man had the shark. The shark would dive into the water only to surface again as the figure pulled up against it. It would turn out to sea and the man would fight it to head back into the shore. Alex watch mesmerized as people all around screamed and pointed at this incredible sight. He wondered if he might still be in bed waiting for his early alarm to rouse him. The twinge of pain from the bad wipeout confirmed he was fully awake and this surreal sight was fully real. Eventually the battle between shark and man ended right where Alex had ridden in after his last set. Alex watched as the man turned to the shark and placed his hand on its thrashing head. He could see him say something and then turned the shark back into the sea. This man had turned a large bull shark with his bare hands.

The crowd somehow both pressed in around this god of a man and withdrew in fear. As he walked away from the shoreline the shark swam back into the ocean. The lifeguards were running and pressing through the crowd but as they reached the inner line Alex could see them slow and then stop at the edge of the mob. This whole time Alex stood frozen, taking in the whole scene but feeling like he wasn't part of the event, just an observer. It seemed that the man simply appeared before him when he realized he was inside the inner circle. Alex looked at the man who stood several inches over him and then looked around and knew he was alone with this glorious being.

"I am Narthan, and you are Alex." This statement reverberated through Alex. He knew it was a statement of reality, more than fact. It was as if this being had just explained the first law of the Universe.

"Ho…w?" Alex was a professional speaker but couldn't form the sentence.

"How do I know you? I don't yet but I'm here to meet you. I apologize for the grand entrance. The shark had a parasite in it that drove it to attack me. I could not let it go or it might have attacked again."


"Why did I let it go? It is no longer ill. The parasite is not with it so it will not attack. I must explain a few things to you, but these must not hear. May I ride with you?" Narthan indicated the Jeep with Alex's surfboard propped up against it.

"Ye…yes?" Alex was confused but felt compelled to unlock the vehicle and get in.

Narthan picked up the board and strapped it onto the cleats before seating himself next to Alex. The crowd parted as Alex drove towards the exit and to his house. The whole time he drove Alex was very aware of the presence next to him. He could feel power radiating from this man, this Narthan. As Alex pulled into his drive Narthan spoke again.

"You have many questions and I will answer them all. Every generation in every culture one is chosen to tell the tales and you are the receptor of your generation."

Narthan began to tell Alex of his people and his purpose.

This story came into my head and I had to get it down. I plan on wrapping up the current SYP arc before trying to focus on this anymore. For that matter I need to outline the story and figure out where it is going and how long it will be. I wanted to put this out there for some feedback. Narthan is one of the sons of God. In this tale these are men who are children of Adam and Eve before the fall. They are not Angels, who are spiritual beings, but are men as men were meant to be. They live in Eden with the law that they must not consume the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. God walks with them as He walked with Adam. They only leave the garden to share their tales and help shape their lost brothers or if they are banished for consuming the fruit of knowledge. Each generation one is chosen to go from the garden and meet the receptor of the tales. This is all I know about the story right now, it might be a series of short stories or a regular novel. Either way the idea intrigued me so here it is.

What do you think?


Wendy said...

It looks like it could be pretty interesting and I'd like to read more when you've got it. Right now, it reads (to me anyway) like a short story. It seems like it would need to be fleshed up a bit to move toward a novel. Both ways could be good though.

Shark Bait said...

This is a good start.

I think the premise is intriguing, and has definite promise.

Have fun with it, and see where it goes. :-)


Nick the Geek said...

That is why I'm not sure what route to follow with this. So far I've only introduced two characters and haven't given any background. The story could end with the story Narthan tells or he could be on a mission of sorts that Alex is suppose to Chronicle.

Thanks for the input. I'm having fun writing out some of the history now, but I don't know how much to put into the story. If the story is really just the history then I should use it all, but if the story is the adventures of Narthan then the history needs to be abbreviated.

Steph @Red Clay Diaries said...

I like it too. I especially enjoyed the description of surfing. Either you've surfed before or you've watched a lot of surfers.

At this point, the surfing story makes up a large percentage of what's here. But I don't know if I'd cut much of it. You learn a lot about Alex from his experience. I think it would balance out as the story continued.

Looking forward to reading more...

Helen said...

I am a little confused about how there can be lost brothers before the fall....If others ate, wouldn't everyone have been banished sooner. If not, why not.

Nick the Geek said...


The surfing has been on my mind for a long while. I've done some but never any real breakers, but I've been dreaming about it.


Hmmm that seems like a question that might be answered in chapter 2.

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