My Experience as Youth Pastor

I want a freakin’ giant bean bag chair. I need the biggest bean bag chair that will fit into my office. My office chair is possessed and so needs to be replaced. I have been sitting in a chair from the 7th circle of hell for the past several months so I deserve a giant bean bag chair.

Unfortunately I don’t have the budget to buy one. I could see it now though. I get a huge one for my desk chair, and then an even bigger one to replace that drug out of a dumpster couch and a smaller one to replace the stolen from the sanctuary chair. Then people would come by to chat and we would chill and listen to music. I could counsel teens while being embraced by microfiber goodness. It would be like getting a hug without that whole having people touch me problem.

My office would be the new place to be. Of course, then people would wear out their welcome. I’d never be able to get any work done. When people weren’t here I’d fall to sleep. It is impossible to fall asleep in the demon chair. It randomly tips in various directions requiring constant shifts in balance.

OK fine, for the sake of actually getting any work done I won’t put the hugenormous beanbag chairs in my office, but I could still use them in the Youth room. Well I could use one to preach from. That’s it. I’m not about to get something soft and squishy for guys and girls to sit on together. My momma didn’t raise no fool.