My Experience as Youth Pastor

Last we saw our hero he was succumbing to the Bored of Grump. It seems the dastardly Elder Grump desires Super Youth Pastor to only bring in well behaved church kids instead of following his conscious and reaching the lost. If you are joining us half way then you can catch up here.

Time has lost all meaning. All I can hear is the drone of voices telling me I am weak. I cannot make it. I am not smart enough. I am not good.

My eyes are so heavy. I'm not even sure they are open. I want to stand up and yell. I want to cut this near sighted moron to size with biting sarcasm but I cannot move. It is taking all of my concentration to keep my thoughts my own.

Slowly SYP moved his thumb. His eyes were lightly closed as if in a dreamless sleep.

The Elder Grump allowed the corner of his mouth to twitch as he complained. He was careful to keep his tone steady and even. He has lost control once but not again. He remembered how much life Super Pastor had when he first came to the church. Elder Grump advised against hiring that pastor. He had too much energy, his dreams were too big. It took a four day session to break him but in the end the Bored triumphed. This young Youth Pastor had resisted for nearly a week now. He even broke free once in the beginning. This would be the sweetest victory.

Energy, I need energy. If I could just focus … or maybe not focus. I'm too focused. This is like mainlining Ritalin. If I could find a way to tap into my ADHD I know I could break free.

"So in review I'd like I recap reasons 100-200 once again."

Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it? I told the secretary we are not to be disturbed."

The door opened and a young man walked through.

"Hey Sup, I got your text. The key was right where you said it would be. Here's the Lo-Carb Monster. What's the big emergency?"

The young man tossed a can of Monster to SYP. The distraction allowed him to open his eyes but he couldn't raise his hands to catch the energy drink.

"Boy! Who said you could come in here?" demanded Elder Grump.

"Sup sent me a text and said there was an emergency and he needed a Lo-Carb Monster. The place was locked down but Syp told me where to find a key."

"Get out of here, and someone take that drink from this room. We are going to have to start over again now."

One of the Bored members grabbed the young man and started pulling him out. Another went to where the Monster had fallen but found a cell phone instead.

"Let go of him now."

Everyone turned to see SYP tossing the empty can aside. He was standing and he was mad.

"Thanks Tim, you might want to go now. I'll fill you in a couple minutes from now."

Holy slammed can of energy drink. What will our champion do now that he has consumed the elixir of ADHD? Find out next week, same SYP time same SYP blog.

Labels: Super Youth Pastor