My Experience as Youth Pastor

So it has been raining all day and I don't like days like this. I mean I really hate days like this. For some reason, these kind of days seem to attract problems on top of the "it's cold and dark and I want to just stay under the covers" feeling. In fact, I think the body's natural defense against the bad things that come on rainy nasty days is to try and convince you to stay in bed.

First thing I found out when I got to the church was that one of my students avoided a fatal accident last night when her mom wouldn't let her go with her friends. Four of her friends were in a car crash that left one dead, and one still in the hospital. Later I found that the student in the hospital is related to some of our church members. I made it to the hospital to pray with him and his family.

At Youth service we had 52 students. I am really loving the sign in chart by the way. Not only do I know exactly how many students we have, but the skipping church bit is really nonexistent. Of course there were some problems. Basically cold and rainy means 52 teens cooped up in about 3000 sq' of building instead of much more open land like they are use to. Plus they were wound up by being cooped up all day in general. This was compounded because 3 of my leaders weren't there tonight. Family stuff but wow it was out of control but mostly in a fun way.

After service I had to drive a bunch of students home in the van. One of my leaders that wasn't there normally does this. One of the students just plain drives me nuts. Constant complaining, insults, and downright stupid "look at me" behavior all night and for the entire drive is enough to drive anyone crazy. After I got back I had to take one more student home. The van was full and this student lived closish to me so I had him come last. We had a nice conversation for the first time since he has been coming. His mother has lupus and he is really trying to step up for his family. He is the oldest and is carry a huge burden for a young man. I am very burdened for him now and really feel frustrated at not being able to really help, but I'm also very glad that he is finding what he wants and needs in the church.

I guess everything really worked out despite not wanting to get out of bed. I couldn't be happier with how things are going in service. We are making the transition into the kind of Bible study/preaching atmosphere I am pushing for and most of the students are really getting excited about it. I'm also getting to know some of the new students better so I'm very happy I didn't stay in bed all day.

Labels: working with Youth, youth service

Youth is really coming along. The one young lady that I was really frustrated with that might be leaving the church came and talked with my after service. She went somewhere else but came to our service to talk and I think it really helped. I'm not 100% sure what is going to happen but I'm feeling that she really needs to be plugged in with a woman in the church for mentoring and I have the perfect person in mind if this person will say yes. Anyways, it seems to be working out and I'm feeling much better about it all.

For specific numbers, we had like 4 visitors tonight plus a few of our semi regulars showing up for a grand total of 52. The sign in sheet makes it easy to know how many people are there since I never think to count. I'm a really bad pastor as far as that sort of thing goes. I'm also bad at over estimating how many people are there. Everyone that signed in stayed, but the one that skipped out last time didn't come tonight. The whole thing is working pretty well right now.

I felt a little overwhelmed though because we were down a few leaders. The main outside leader was out of town on business and two other leaders weren't there, one for work and I'm not sure what happened to the other. Also last week was the last week for one of my leaders. This means we had about as many students as we've ever had with 4 fewer leaders than we have had in the past 3 months. Despite that things went really well.

I also started the first phase of getting my students more involved tonight by having one of the students doing announcements instead of me. It was nice to not be the only one talking and I'm expecting to get more involved. I asked the girl that I was really impressed with over the weekend and she did a great job. I'd like to try and have some of the students put together stupid little skits and stuff for some of the announcements. That would be great.

Tonight was also phase 2 of the transition to a stronger Bible study type environment. The end goal will look like this; I'll read a Bible passage and give some explanation of what it means. Then small groups will get together and discuss questions related to the subject then we'll meet together again for my review of the questions and a sermon of sorts. I did this before and I think it works really well. The big change for tonight was I had a series of questions that I asked and get input from the students as a whole. It worked well and I was very happy with the responses the students gave.

Of course the most fun I had all night was early on in the evening. The grumpy old man that threatened a student a couple months back and who hasn't been coming to church on Sundays since was there. He is still teaching the Rangers and I am concerned about that on many levels but I have bigger things to deal with right now. He is basically ignoring me though, which amuses me. Any time I see him I try to be nice and say hi and ask how he is. I'm a southerner. We can show courtesy to our worst enemy. He tends to pretend he didn't hear me though. Sure he is old and hard of hearing, but in the past he would ask what I said if he didn't hear, now he just walks the other way. Now I could let it go but I much prefer another approach. Loud kindness. It drives him crazy I think. Not exactly why I do it, I want to show that I live what I preach. Still, I enjoy the look of frustration on his face when I ask again "have you had a good day?" as loud and joyful as I can possibly be. If you want to really mess with people that are angry with you then pour on the kindness. Grumpy people can't stand when they are doused with joy.

Labels: kindness, working with Youth, youth service

I've posted a couple of times about problems we have had with students coming in and checking out. Tonight was the first run of a new system intended to limit that and also inform parents when it occurs. I spoke with a follow youth minister and asked for input online. I even talked to some of my students. The solution isn't perfect but we are moving the right direction. My YP friend has a better budget than I do (read he has a budget) so he is working on buying a system that will digitally sign his students in with IDs. I would love to just have the software but $500 isn't happening. I'm working on setting up a SQL local host server and either building a sign in system or finding an open source version that can be modified to that end.

For now, though, I have started a paper where they write what time they arrived, their name, a cell number if they got it, their parent's name, and a number they can be reached at. To make sure we get everyone we are marking their hands, so if someone is marked we know they have signed it and if not they haven't. Simple. Of course there is a learning curve to this all. I think I want to take the pages from tonight and put those names on so it will go faster. I also want to get a stamp made instead of the ghetto mark we are doing now. Tonight I put a purple x with a washable marker.

We did have a few students head out early. Most of them checked with me before heading out and I knew where they were heading and why. I had one student who has been coming and leaving with his friends almost every service for a while skip out. I had him sign in and he admitted he was going to leave. I told him to sign in if he as on the property. I also asked if his mom thought he was there. He said yes, but claimed she knew he was leaving. When he left without checking out I had his mom get a call. I was busy so I don't know exactly what happened but I did talk to her later. The boy knew the rule was that if he left he was gone for the evening. I explained it to him the previous week and this week but after service he came back. I intercepted him and explained that he was gone but he came in anyways. (yes Candy I say anyways all the time, I speak exactly like I write) A couple students were asking me various things so I didn't get to him immediately. When I did I tried to patiently explain not only what the rules were, but also why we have the rules. He kept insisting that I never told him, when I know I've told him many times. I also told him his mother was told. He insisted that she knew he left and not to call her again because "it's not cool." I explained that I would call her until she told me that she knew he was leaving and arranged to pick him up elsewhere.

Two friends came back with him. The girl was wearing a jacket with a pentagram that had a goat's head in it pinned on. OK, so I'm not one to judge a book by it's cover, but at some point you got to think "satanist?" Seriously it was an upside down pentagram with a freakin' goat head. I told the friends they didn't have to leave but the boy who left did (not to be confused with the boy who lived, Harry can stay). They all left though, but the boy came back again and I heard him asking if I had left because he apparently didn't see me. His other friends had disappeared. I went over but he just glared at me. I figured his mom was about to pick him up so I waited right there and a few minutes later his mom pulled up. When she did I walked over to talk to her. I explained the rules and told her that if he was there he would have a mark on his hand. I also explained she would get a call. She told me she thought he was there, which annoyed me a bit because I've called in the past to let her know he walked off. Either way she knows and will be called every time now.

The other advantage is I got an exact count on students because they signed in.

Labels: youth service

Not me, I'm totally ninja. I'm referring to some of my students.

I will say that things are really starting to change in the Youth group on Wednesday nights. They are becoming more and more respectful, hearing more and more of the Word and attendance is holding steady. I've been praying about having some of the guys step up and say they want to be involved in leadership and I have had 4 step up in the past couple weeks. All in all I couldn't be happier with how things are going.

There are a few problems yet. There has been an ongoing problem with students wandering off on youth nights. Some of them have left to run to 7-11 and come back, others have gone over to the hospital to skate, a few run to friend's houses to pick them up or something, but a few come and hang out till church starts and then disappear only to be back right after service ends so their parents are none the wiser. We have tried several thins to curtail the disappearing student problem and some things have worked.

We have a great snack shop so students don't have to run to 7-11. We sell Monster for $2 which is less than anywhere. Everything we sell is cheaper than 7-11. I was running students down as they walked off time and time again, but it seems the most effective thing to reigning in the wanderer was being right. Ok I was right the whole time but a couple weeks ago they learned just how right I was. I warned them many times about the dangers of wandering off but 2 weeks ago a student left with a group 3 times. I brought them back 2 times but didn't see the third time. That last time someone pulled a knife on the student and stole his iPod touch and skateboard. Everything worked out fine but the most of the students have learned an important lesson.

One group has been an ongoing problem though. They leave do who knows what (ok I know much of what they do) and then come back so parents can pick them up. I have hinted to the parents by calling and saying "I really missed … this week." And even flat out said, "you know your child leaves when you think they are here right," but the parents in question refuse to believe me. I'm not sure what else to do. I told them when they leave they have left for the evening but they come back and wait off property. I'm really at a loss as to what I can do about them.

I had another group head off tonight. I talked with them later and explained why they couldn't do that and it lead to a great conversation with a student that doesn't really know what to believe. At first he was saying he was an atheist, but then it came out that he was more agnostic than anything. I didn't brow beat him or anything, more than that I wanted to make him feel that he could come without being judged. It did lead to talking about what I believe and why. I got to share parts of my testimony and he admitted he liked to hear why I believe. That it isn't just blindly accepting what others have told me but based on studying and real experiences. He said, "I feel like I might be able to believe in something like that someday."

Like I said, I'm generally happy. I could use some prayer with regards to the ones that leave. I don't want them to come for the numbers. They are there part of the night and I could count them if that was what it was about. No, I'm really worried for them.

Labels: ninja, working with Youth, youth service

Tonight was a cold and rainy night. So far I have referenced a movie I never watched and the worst noir opening ever. I'm off to a great start.

Anyways, it really was cold and rainy so attendance was down a little. Not much though, which really surprises me based on the fact that I am switching to a much more bible study type presentation. We have spent the past three weeks on Matthew 5. During this I start by reading the passage we are covering and then explaining that section within the culture and how it relates to us. Then I preach on a specific point. I really thought that several would stop coming Wednesday when I started the Bible study transition but I was wrong. Now for those that know me you can pick your jaw up off the floor. I've often said that I can be wrong and if it happens I'm happy to admit it. Here is proof. I'll even say it again. I was wrong about losing students when I started teaching without the fun times.

Of course, I still need to explain picking up cars with boys. When one of the parents was dropping off her student tonight her car broke. It was right in the entrance and wouldn't pull forward. The rear passenger tire was leaning, which is generally a bad thing. I got the car jacked up and pulled the tire to see if it might be some kind of simple fix to at least move the car, but it was bad. This vehicle has a rear ball joint which had completely separated. Very bad. We had to get a bunch of guys together and pick up the rear of the car as we pushed it forward into a parking space. All of this in the cold rain. Fortunately I was wearing my motorcycle jacket, which is somewhat water proof.

Labels: wednesday night follow up, youth service

OK, so I got to test my t-shirt cannon and it works frigintastic. I've only tested it to 40PSI but at that pressure it fired about 40' high and a hundred feet or so distant. I fired it at that pressure in the church and hit the lighting about 20 high at full speed. At 20 PSI I can hit the back rows from the front of the church about 100' but at a much lower arc. I need to get some new video because the video I took of the testing today didn't turn out much useful.

That as me in a better mood, but the weather is kind of depressing. We did have numbers back up a bit, but not quite to where we had been running last month, but equal to or better than February. There are some new people and so there are some people missing that I really wish were there, plus some that I don't expect to see back, but they might surprise me, who knows.

Of course not all is super awesome happy time. I have to say be careful what you pray for. I have been praying for students that need Jesus. Let me tell you this is apparently the same as praying for patience. Good but very dangerous. There are a few that are really pushing me and tonight I was at the edge of kicking a couple out … only I was talking about how Jesus spent all his time with people that need him and not the religious, self-righteous leaders that wanted him. I was talking about the Prodigal Son and about the wrong and right way to act so kicking them out would have been very hypocritical and I'm hoping that the way I did deal with them was a great illustration to the students.

Who knows how that went but despite me being at the edge of my wits one girl did respond to the salvation side of the message and that is super fan-frigintastic.

I also had another opportunity to walk the talk. One of the students I've mentioned before as being bi was there tonight. She comes pretty regular and brought a couple friends last week. Anyways, they were there waiting on a ride when the younger brother of one of her friends was running around calling her "lesbo" and "lezzie." I sat the kid down and explained that was very ugly and is not acceptable. I asked him not to treat her that way and told him he wouldn't do it around me. The rest of the time he behaved. She knows I know her "orientation." I haven't talked with her specifically about it but have commented on my views of GBLT so she knows where I stand as well. If you don't know I feel very strongly that sin is sin but that people are also people. Christians like to pick favorite sins and judge people on those things. We miss out on the sins that Jesus judged people on that revolve around how we treat other people because we are so hung up on the "bad" sins. I try hard to avoid "hating the sin but loving the sinner" and instead try to just love people. I hope this young lady got it when I put that into practice tonight. All people have worth and none should be treated like that.

Finally I want to give a great big shout out to one of my new Youth workers. He is really starting to fit in and is intuitively building relationships with several of the guys. I'm really excited to have him on board and wish I had about 5 more just like him. My prayers are for God to keep sending people that need Jesus, that He keeps opening doors for me to get into community programs and places, and for more workers for the Harvest. God has been answering these requests and I ask others to please pray this for me and for your Youth.

Leave some love k?

Labels: youth service

I'm feeling a little depressed right now. It is frustrating because I know I shouldn't be and that makes it ever worse. In Youth we had been running around 40 and as much as 50 for a couple of months now, then for some reason the past 2 weeks we have dropped off to less than 30. I don't know exactly why. I know where a few of the students were last night, and I know where a small group is and why they likely won't be coming back, but I don't know where two of the other groups have disappeared to and why. I ran into a couple of the girls yesterday and they told me they were coming tonight, but then church time rolled around without them being there.

I feel guilty for being depressed about this because I know that the number game is dangerous to get into. There will be highs and lows and if I invest too much into that I will be up and down with the numbers. Here I sit feeling down and telling myself I shouldn't feel down which makes me feel more ... down. It really is a vicious cycle.

On the other hand there have been some serious highs too. I'll be starting a smoking cessation class for teens in a couple of weeks. This class will get me some valuable face time with "at risk" teens. I just finished my training and have talked to the head of the community group that is sponsoring the classes about starting in a couple of weeks. This is something I'm really excited about and believe it is an answer to my prayers about finding ways to build relationships with teens outside the church.

Labels: youth service

I have started way too many speeches that way. I enjoy having fun. Often the most fun things are at the expense of others. After all, "it's all fun and games till someone gets hurt, then it's freakin' hilarious." Seriously, the best games involve twists that result in people getting messy. When I say people I do mean someone other than myself, but for the sake of the Youth I'll take it on the chin from time to time. Not the chin so much as my entire face actually, but whatever.

Last night was Youth service in church. Once a month we get the evening service and I try to plan fun as well as sharing with the adults what I do with the Youth and what they can do for the Youth. Last night we had a great improve skit and ended up playing a game I hadn't planned on. During our drama practice I told one of the girls what she missed the previous week in Youth. When she heard about the Dance Dance Revolution game she begged me to do it during the service that evening.

Please understand that we have a very uptight sort of church on Sunday Evenings. There are lots of people over 60 raised in a denomination where almost everything was a sin. Movies, women in pants, drinking, and dancing were all evil sins when they were growing up. They aren't quite that bad, but trust me when I've said something about these kinds of things I've received some interesting looks at the very least. Anyways, I did the dancing game but apologized up from. OK sure it wasn't an apology so much as a qualified warning.

The game went great. I got one of the Youth's grandmother up there and 3 Youth and a mid 20's guy. The dancing was completely hilarious and everyone was laughing and taking pictures. I'm glad I didn't let my better judgment stop me. Of course I have now set a really bad precedent. Not so much for the church but for myself. Next month I get an "anything goes" service. The denomination national youth day is next month and I've been given the morning and evening services that day. I'm already planning for the service. I want something completely memorable. If it is my last service I want it to be something they will be talking about for years.

So before I start I need to say I'm sorry.

Labels: games, youth service

I don't have much to say about last night. We had a good time but I really need to get our new united worship band in place. We are shooting for mid June and the guy that has been playing lead guitar for me just hasn't been "feeling it" lately. Very frustrating. We haven't had worship the past 3 weeks so I tried something different expecting the "not feeling it tonight" response from this guy. I took my Kutless CD down and played some songs that we sing during worship off it. I actually had them asking for more so that was good. I also got some more interest in the worship band when I explained that that was close to the sound I'm really looking for personally.

Anyways, last night did have a couple really awesome points. I have been doing this series on refuge and trying to make a point about the difference between the things we try to use when we need to get away and the kind of peace that God can give even though He doesn't take away the circumstances in life. I have used examples from the Bible and my life the past two week but I asked one of the teens to share her testimony last night.

The short version is that she moved here in 7th grade and didn't have any friends. She felt very along and some really bad things happened to her. She started cutting and felt better but kept cutting more and more, deeper and deeper. Eventually they had to rush her to the ER because she had cut too deep into her leg. That didn't stop her though. She started talking to people in church who encouraged her in her walk with God and she started praying more and reading her Bible. She got out of cutting completely because of God.

The whole time everyone listened. I never get everyone to listen. At the end of service I had a few people respond for salvation including one girl that I have really been concerned about. I think what the student said really went to their hearts more than anything I've said this past year.

In other words I'm going to make a point to start having them share their testimonies with each other. I already know who I'm going to next.

Labels: Music, Worship Band, youth service

I originally posted this back in November. I am just now getting around to preaching this series. I posted a sermon I preached on my Sermon Blast blog. Someone asked if it was something I preached to the Youth. Unfortunately it was not. We don't have recording equipment in the Youth building. Well technically I took the CDR from the Youth Building to the sanctuary because we didn't even have it hooked up. I found it by accident while looking for something else. Anyways, I try to never preach down to the students so what I preach to them is only a little different from what I will preach to the church. There are two main differences. First I tend to use a lot of YouTube videos and other things like that. The other reason is based on attention span. I might have planned that same sermon for the Youth but would have broken it into two or three parts and preached those parts as a series.

The following is a pretty good example of what I preach to my Youth. This isn't word for word but gets the high points. Some additions or explanations are in red.

How to not survive a nuclear bomb

50s TV announcer dude (5TAD): Hey Timmy, how are you today?

Timmy: Fine I guess.

5TAD: What has you down there young man?

Timmy: Well I heard something about the Soviets planning on blowing us all up with nuclear bombs.

5TAD: Timmy, don't worry, if you follow these simple rules you can survive when the reds attack.

First, always carry a newspaper. It may not seem like much but our top scientist have reinforced your common newspaper with special ink to protect you from radiation.

Second, always know where your fallout shelters are located. You should cover your head with the news paper and go to your closest fallout shelter.

Third, get under your desk or up against a wall at school. Those desks have the same nuclear proof ink to protect our nation's children.

Timmy, if you follow these simple rules you can be safe in any nuclear disaster.

Timmy: Gee thanks Mr. Announcer Dude.

I actually read this using voices for the characters. I thought it would be funny and did get some good laughs although I did get more laughs later when for some reason I got distracted and started quoting Charlie the Unicorn and the Banana King.

 I'm pretty sure that is an accurate transcript from a 50 public awareness broadcast. These are some of the rules about dealing with nuclear attacks. I still see fallout shelter signs everywhere. The Bible College I worked at had one down in the basement of one of the buildings. Sure this room was behind a locked door and sure it was full of dangerous chemicals and had huge natural gas lines running through the room, but it also had a nice sign letting all in the know that it was the place to be if someone dropped the bomb on the city. Of course it was BYOS, that is bring your own supplies. No water, food, or first aid stuff so hopefully you remember to bring what you will need for a few years. Of course it was still better than a lot of other shelters I've seen. Some are open on three or even 4 sides. The slightest breeze would blow fallout into the shelter.

I think this is a good example of how we setup refuges in our life. We have places in our life we go to when things get big bad and scary, but those places aren't ever as safe as they look. We don't have the resources to try and survive while hiding out and we often find ourselves hiding behind a wall we setup to keep others away only to get stabbed from behind because there was nothing to cover out backside.

I think God wants to setup real places of refuge for us. Like the shelter from Blast from the Past. Well stocked and very safe. He wants us to find refuge with others so we can bear each other up and most of all He wants us to find refuge in Him. He is like Helm's Deep, or Minas Tirith, a fortress that has never been breached. The only way the enemy can strike us in the refuge of His wings is if we walk out of that safe place to try and find a safer place own our own.

I switched this up after the fact pointing out how these places failed and how in Blast from the Past the family in the shelter wasn't prepared for reality. I felt this really set things up for the main point and conclusion better.

   Psalm 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
       will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
       my God, in whom I trust."

Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
       and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers,
       and under his wings you will find refuge;
       his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of night,
       nor the arrow that flies by day,

nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
       nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
       ten thousand at your right hand,
       but it will not come near you.

You will only observe with your eyes
       and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling—
       even the LORD, who is my refuge-

 then no harm will befall you,
       no disaster will come near your tent.

 For he will command his angels concerning you
       to guard you in all your ways;

 they will lift you up in their hands,
       so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
       you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
       I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
       I will be with him in trouble,
       I will deliver him and honor him.

 With long life will I satisfy him
       and show him my salvation."

The main point and conclusion are tied together after this. I set the passage up by talking about David and how he never had a place of refuge. You can figure out the details if you are familiar with David. The short version is that he faced the lion, the bear, and Goliath with only his sling and Saul turned on him as did nearly every ally he ever had so that any place of refuge he had was lost. He found his shelter in God alone and we can also. When we are in that place where nothing is working and we feel completely alone God can be our peace. We need to have a relationship with God if we expect that kind of peace.

I shared a bit more than this but this should get you an idea of what I preach to my Youth.

Labels: youth service