My Experience as Youth Pastor

Happy Valentine's Day to all those who enjoy such days. This is the third part of a series in the exploits of SYP. If you need to start at the beginning of the series please visit part 1 and part 2.

Last we saw SYP he was locked in the church with the Naïve Intern and 138 teens. The Naïve Intern had planned most of the evening's events including a surprise Murder Mystery event. The only other help able to make it for the evening is Griz, an old, grumpy worker that would give Mother Theresa flak for not living up to his standards. Griz was picking up much needed supplies for all the unexpected attendees.

SYP looked around the room trying to pick out some of the more reliable students. The Sickly Student was able to make it. That was great since she was going to be one of the major parts in the murder mystery game. There was Drumdom, the worship band drummer, and Di his girlfriend. Kelly was here and she was another of the student leaders. As he looked around he saw a couple dozen more or less reliable students. He would have to push them a bit for the night but they would do well to keep things organized. They would be his eyes and ears. Some of them were more mature than him so things would go pretty smooth with their help.

In the dark corners of the room he saw a couple getting a bit too comfortable. Just as he started heading that direction a scream pierced his ears. Heart pounding he whirled to see Jan on the floor a small pool of blood starting to spread from her chest. He ran to her pushing students out of his way. He rolled her to find a knife sticking deep into her ribs.

"Did anyone see what happened?"

The students gasped and pulled back. They were shocked and surprised. He heard crying and one girl screaming, "Oh, no who would have done this to Jan?"

At that moment he felt they had enough and pulled Jan to her feet, knife still sticking in her blood stained shirt. Some students were slow on the uptake and screamed when she took a bow. Most figured it out and started clapping.

"It seems we have a murder on our hands," SYP announced to the group. "Those who were near the scene might have a clue who did it. Tomorrow morning any person able to identify the killer will be entered for a chance to win the Wii. You will need to know the killer's motive as well. As you investigate you will need to share information and help with certain tasks to uncover further clues. Be careful who you approach and what you share because the killer is out there and he or she might have accomplices carrying a variety of weapons. If you are dead you can't claim your prize."

Jan took another bow and the crowd cheered her on. SYP heard several friends congratulating her on the ear piercing scream. SYP knew it was coming but it did scare him for a moment as well. The excitement was spreading through the crowd as he listened in on whispers of plans for finding out who killed Jan and why. It would get much more complicated as the night went on and multiple murders and attempted murders added to the confusion. The Naïve Intern had really out done himself.

SYP remembered the couple in the corner and turned but saw they were gone. The scream must have scared them off each other for the time being but he knew the energy of the event would bring them back together soon. Too bad he didn't see who they were before Jan went down. Then he could warn some of his Student Leaders and the Naïve Intern who to watch for. Then again, with this many students it would probably be best not to focus on any specific couple.

He started looking for the Naïve Intern to congratulate him on the first death of the night and warn him to watch out for couples getting too friendly. He spotted him on the far side of the room. As SYP was trying to make a beeline to him through all the students he spied the couple necking behind the tables setup for the pizzas. He veered off to break this couple up when Sam stopped him to try and get some information on the murder. By the time SYP had convinced Sam that he was more like a referee and unable to give clues or bargain for anything the couple has disappeared again. As SYP thought about it he was certain that it was the same guy but a different girl. He sighed as he realized just how long the night was going to be.

SYP made it to where he had seen the Naïve Intern but he was somewhere else as well. That is when he saw the girl from the first couple holding hands with another guy. It seemed that there was some drama going on outside the planned murders. Hopefully it wouldn't be as violent but his experience with teen love told him that it would probably turn much, much worse.

He saw the Naïve intern and kept his eyes on him as he parted a sea of sweaty teens. He saw other couples forming but he knew that if he didn't regroup with the Naïve Intern this would get out of control quickly.

"Niv, we need to get with some of our student leaders and try to keep things from getting out of control. There is some major drama brewing and some of these kids can't keep their hands off each other. I'm going to turn the lights up and you get the next part of the mystery going."

"Sup, we can't get ahead of schedule or people will get bored later in the night."

"Listen, Griz is getting the pizzas and supplies and we have way too many teens for just the two of us. If we can keep them occupied till the food gets here we'll do alright. While they are all eating we can discuss how things will go with the student leaders and adjust for so many extra visitors."

"Fine but don't turn the lights up till after the next scene. It will look better without full light. I'll need a few minutes to find the players and get them in place."

"Sounds good, and try to put some space between that couple as you get going." SYP indicated a guy and girl that were groping each other nearby. They seemed to be getting braver and SYP wondered if the light would control the teens as they were drawn to each other.

SYP broke apart 5 more couples as he went to the light controls in the back. He hoped it wouldn't take the Naïve Intern long to get things going. More than that for the first time since he started working in this church he was wishing that Griz was with him.

He had reached the controls and saw another guy kissing a girl. As he started to interrupt he was shocked to see the Sickly Student. He didn't think she was dating anyone and she tended to be one of the most responsible people he knew of any age because of her illness. He had to stop himself from yelling as he talked to them, "SS, what are you thinking?"

"Sorry Sup, I don't really know what came over me," she breathed as she pushed the guy away from her.

SS's eye seemed red so SYP didn't push it. She was a young girl and needed to be able to act out from time to time. This was pretty tame and she was usually so careful.

"You did it!" The emotional outburst shook the room. Everyone turned to see who was yelling.

"You killed my sister." It was Sarah, Jan's sister. The crowd figured out this was the next scene. It seemed all the couples had split up for the time being so that much of the plan was working.

"I … I don't know what you're talking about." Mark was back pedaling as he stuttered.

"Yes, you do. She loved you and you killed her." Sarah raised her hand revealing a very real looking pistol.

"Hold on. You don't know what …" The report from the gun cut him off.

SYP jumped. That was a real gun. Mark was falling in slow motion as smoke curled from the gaping mouth of the gun. Sarah just started laughing as people began to scream. Some thought it was part of the show but most were looking for cover. SYP started to run towards the scene when the Naïve Intern grabbed the still laughing Sarah by the wrist and wrestled the gun from her. It fired two more times into the ceiling as they fought but the Naïve Intern was triumphant and then he took her hand as they turned to the crowd to take a bow. Mark stood up and took another bow.

The audience roared their approval as they came from their hiding places. Once the noise died down the Naïve Intern announced, "It seems Sarah believes she knows who our murder is and has resorted to murder herself. Does she know any part of the truth? You only have 6 more hours to solve this mystery. It is best that you not waste time lurking in dark spaces when murder is afoot."

This must be one of the surprises that hadn't been shared with SYP. How had the Naïve Intern obtained the pistol and blanks for this? That had nearly scared the crap out of him. SYP needed to try and figure out what other plans the Naïve Intern might have.

That is when SYP remembered that he was going to turn the lights on. He had made it most of the way to where Sarah had "shot" Mark before he figured out what was happening. He rushed back to the light controls already seeing some couples getting friendly now that the excitement was ebbing. He could have sworn he heard "brains" being mumbled somewhere in the crowd. Probably some teens goofing around talking about watching horror flicks.

As SYP turned on the lights two things stuck him instantly. Nearly half the room was paired up and things were much uglier than he expected.

It seemed that everyone looked like they were half dead. Had the Naïve Intern somehow put makeup on everyone? Their eyes were sunk in and their skin seemed to be hanging off their bones. He could distinctly hear groaning calls coming from the mob. "Boobs" and "Bums" seemed to predominate the sounds he could make out.

What on earth was going on?

Will SYP and the Naïve Intern survive? Will Griz ever make it back with pizza? Who really killed Jan? Who shot JR? Join us next week, same SYP time same SYP blog.

Editor's note: In classic Zombie survival movies the zombies seem only able to utter a single word, "brains." Since these zombies are driven by a desire other than noming on brains it is only natural that they call after other parts of the body. As a guy it seemed reasonable that the zombies would speak of female body parts that adolescent boys are obsessed with. Since I am not female I don't know what girls would really groan after. I considered leaving in brains since wit, intelligence, and humor all come from the brain and girls often say these are important. I decided, though, that these girls had been reduced to base desires and so were not too concerned with talking and getting to know the people they are sucking face with. Since my favorite Zombie survival movie is also a British comedy, Shaun of the Dead, it seemed reasonable that the girls would become British in their carnal longing and so they go on calling for bums. This is a reference to bottoms and not homeless people. I hope this helps make that part clear.