My Experience as Youth Pastor

Honestly I don't know that I would choose to write on grief. I try to have fun and keep things light unless I need to vent, but I struggle with depression and feelings of self-doubt. That is one of the reasons I avoid writing on subjects like grief. I did write a post about my deepest grief once. It is also my greatest testimony that I call being taken from the black hole.

This year had brought quite a bit of grief to myself and dear friends and family. My grandmother died on my mother's birthday this year. I don't know if I would survive that. I was asked to speak at the funeral and that was the hardest speaking experience I have ever had.

Grief speaks of loss, but sometimes it is hard to figure out what the loss really is. I grieved my grandma, but I never really knew her. I think I grieved no knowing her and never getting that opportunity more than losing her. I was raised in the military so I might have seen her an average of one week a year. My dad's mother died when he was a boy and my mom's dad died when I was a boy. I met my dad's dad like 3 times in my life for a total of a few hours. He died 3 years ago. When my grandma died I also lost my history. I have friends with great grandparents they knew and spent time with regularly. I felt like my anchor had been pulled up leaving me adrift.

When I think of grief my head spins, because you can't really feel grief unless you are attached. The problem is we tend to be attached by many threads so when those threads are cut the grief is amplified because it comes from too many directions.

I don't like to write about grief because it reminds me of all those severed threads, but it also serves to remind me that when the world is spinning out of control that there is a rock that doesn't move.

Labels: Blog Carnival, Grief

If you don't know about the blog carnival then check it out. Peter Pollock, an amazing person and gifted writer, is hosting this round so go visit his blog to see everyone else's posts.. It was great last time even though I twisted my understanding of the rules for my own amusement. This time I am sticking a bit more on a literal translation, but letting my geek out.

I remember a great many things. I'm especially good at remembering random, often useless facts. One of those bits of information is the scene when Spock is about to sacrifice himself in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Until the latest reboot of the original Star Trek it was easily my favorite Trek anything. It is a really close call still because it is pure frigintasticalness. One of the most memorable scenes is the sacrifice of Spock. At face value it is very sad, but events in a not nearly as good of a movie bring him back and setup Star Trek IV: the Voyage Home, which features whales in space.

Spock gives Bones his memories, essentially his mind with the phrase "Remember." Watch this clip, it happens about 00:01:50.

The Bible says we are to have the mind of Christ.  

"For who has known the mind of the Lord
      that he may instruct him?" But we have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:16)

It seems that we need to remember if we are to have such a mind. We are commanded to have communion in remembrance of Him. What is it we are to remember? Simply this, all that He has commanded. I think many times Christians forget this. They don't remember and so don't have the mind of Christ, much less the Spirit of God.

Today as you read about remembering, think about this, what happens when we remember Christ in such a way as to have His mind? I think that is the kind of revolutionary thought that changed the world and can change it again.

Labels: Blog Carnival, One Word at a time

I like the idea of the blog carnival, but I'm so bad at playing by the rules. Rather I like to play by the rules as stated, not so much by the intent. If the rule says, "wear a tie" I am certain to wear a tie. I wouldn't want to break the rules after all. The problem is the rule doesn't specify what kind of tie to wear, or where/how it should be worn. In case you were wondering, ties make great belts.

To that end I would like to point out that there is no definition given for "Trust" the theme of this blog carnival. I have a feeling that they are going for a definition along the lines of trusting other people or God, but there are other definitions that might be considered. Personally I like the idea of trust as in a Trust Fund.

I don't have a trust fund, nor do I have any friends with such things. I've heard them mentioned in many books and movies, and they generally seem like a great thing, but people seem to look down on individuals with trust funds. Seriously, think about it. Can you think of a movie where the guy or girl is mentioned to have a trust fund in a positive light? That is so weird. You have two perfectly good words, "trust" and "fund," but when you combine them it makes people cranky. Oh sure, to a person's face they are very nice, but when they leave the room, "Mr. trust fund thinks he's so special."

The crazy part is that the individual in question is often a really great person. I think it is because people are inherently jealous and so they wish their future could be secured. I do wish I had a trust fund, but then again I know better than to trust in funds. Maybe that is why people seem put off. They misunderstand what the phrase means. Of course I seriously doubt that. I think it goes back to jealousy.

Anyways, that is my take on Trust for the blog carnival.

You should go visit Bridget Chumbley's blog to see how everyone else played by the rules.

Labels: Blog Carnival