tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post5281074546170038507..comments2023-10-22T03:33:03.309-07:00Comments on My Experience as Youth Pastor: If I believed in karma…Nick the Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09494956043889392219noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post-68790391685951395492009-06-10T08:52:05.540-07:002009-06-10T08:52:05.540-07:00Annie K,
yeah I feel like I have much more in com...Annie K,<br /><br />yeah I feel like I have much more in common with my teens than people just a bit older than me, but some things still shock me.Nick the Geekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09494956043889392219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post-1513625832909645552009-06-09T21:24:55.533-07:002009-06-09T21:24:55.533-07:00Apparently I grew up a prude because my friends an...Apparently I grew up a prude because my friends and I didn't sit around discussing sex and I told my boyfriend (who later turned out to be my husband) that if he did drugs or tried to get into my pants it was over. I guess I had self-respect. <br /><br />I'm glad I'm not a teen in this day and age.Annie Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07774350914255922163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post-51420468490512764492009-06-09T20:28:10.740-07:002009-06-09T20:28:10.740-07:00Wendy,
I agree with pretty much everything you sai...Wendy,<br />I agree with pretty much everything you said. <br /><br />Anon,<br />Yeah I do worry about levels of appropriateness. I would never sit down and talk with a girl about this by ourselves and I wouldn't just have this conversation over text all alone. My wife was involved with my conversation as I was conveniently at home for lunch with her when the question came. Relationships with teens can be very tricky and I try to walk on the side of cautious.<br /><br />Helen,<br />No she was not being pressured by a boy. I found out who the friend was. I'm not 100% sure what prompted the question. I'm honestly thinking that it was a conversation about sex and what is appropriate that I was brought into. I have heard some stuff that would make pretty much anyone blush.<br /><br />katdish,<br />hmm, well I guess when I was a teen we talked about a lot more than you did. Not just with other guys either. I hope the additional info I mentioned about my wife being involved with the texting helps alleviate concerns.<br /><br />Candy,<br />The friend was a guy that she is friends with who has been attending youth. Apparently they dated at some point in the past for a very short time that was awkward and so they are only friends ... so um yeah. At this point I'm pretty certain the question arose from a conversation about what is appropriate.<br /><br />As for when I bring up what the Bible says. Well she has heard me several times on this issue. At this point in life I think she is pretty clear on what the Bible teaches and what her convictions are. I don't know what the future holds but I do know she has been taught not only that sex should wait till marriage but also why from several different vantage points. It is important that students hear this often because of how often they hear the opposite.Nick the Geekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09494956043889392219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post-27998072475596290952009-06-09T19:46:41.933-07:002009-06-09T19:46:41.933-07:00I think it's great that she trusted you enough...I think it's great that she trusted you enough to ask. I can't imagine myself at 14 (or 24!) asking an older male that question. If this was in person, I agree it would have been ideal to have a female present, but if it were over text (?) I think you gave a great answer. And you have to grasp those teachable moments or they may be gone forever.<br /><br />I love the "my friends want to know" part. <i>Uh huh.</i> <br /><br />And at what point then do you talk about what the Bible says about sex? But this is obviously something "to be continued..."Candyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08906584712170733253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post-40411650150899087332009-06-09T15:16:44.766-07:002009-06-09T15:16:44.766-07:00Gaaaa!
I remember what it was like being 14 years...Gaaaa!<br /><br />I remember what it was like being 14 years old. Back then, I wasn't being constantly bombarded by sexually explicit EVERYTHING either. I think what you said was accurate, and I also think it is a good thing that she was able to talk to an adult that didn't just talk to her as a child.<br /><br />I also think I somewhat agree with Anonymous to a certain extent about talking to a female student with raging hormones.katdishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09210738418270395622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post-52613909257551319442009-06-09T13:25:16.031-07:002009-06-09T13:25:16.031-07:00Nick, I think you were correct in answering her. ...Nick, I think you were correct in answering her. Who are these "friends"? Is she being pressured by a boy to do something she herself doesn't think she is ready for with "it isn't really sex", doubting her instincts that hayle yes it is, and checking with an adult she trusts? There are times that it is most appropriate to have an older female talk to a girl, and an older male talk to a boy, and their are times you have to wing it because you just don't have the whole picture. "Wait until I can arrange for a female to answer that question..." could very well lead to it being too late because she let's herself be convinced by those who are there.<br />I think you did good. And well. Yes. You did well.Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18070555200892952455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post-40165374037539992292009-06-09T12:49:51.815-07:002009-06-09T12:49:51.815-07:00Completely agree that high school kids should get ...Completely agree that high school kids should get accurate answers from trusted adults. Wondering though, if it's entirely appropriate for a male youth pastor to have that discussion with a female student?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post-88004154257038011672009-06-09T11:18:07.862-07:002009-06-09T11:18:07.862-07:00Well, if she's asking, she should be given the...Well, if she's asking, she should be given the answer. It's scary how young it all starts. I'm glad you're going to talk to her. While the fingering in itself is not intercourse, it is opening the door to it. And any type of sexual contact can make a person think that they have feelings for another that really aren't there. It just confuses things. With all the hormones bursting everywhere at that age, a person can easily fall into something that they can't get out of or wish they had never gotten into. While a teenager may think they are ready for that kind of thing, chances are, they'll regret bad decisions later.Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10377069690077072368noreply@blogger.com