tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post2306257745173557443..comments2023-10-22T03:33:03.309-07:00Comments on My Experience as Youth Pastor: Counseling a good marriageNick the Geekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09494956043889392219noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post-15784257160741393762009-06-08T07:56:09.975-07:002009-06-08T07:56:09.975-07:00P.S. I think a lot of the trouble people have in m...P.S. I think a lot of the trouble people have in marriages in our country is that they assume that marriage is supposed to be a fairytale. They think that all of their relationship problems can be wished away with a wedding, or that if it takes work, it's not working. I think people set marriages up to fail when they expect them to be perfect.Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18322614204354706684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post-56896538207751831032009-06-08T07:54:20.557-07:002009-06-08T07:54:20.557-07:00Love this column - I am engaged to a wonderful guy...Love this column - I am engaged to a wonderful guy (who I've been dating for 5 years, living with for 4...we're not Christians, but we're sort of marriage traditionalists in that we believe in getting married ONCE and sticking it through), and I think one of the reasons I am so confident that we will stay together is that we talk about the things that aren't perfect - we talk about times we get angry, or frustrated, or resentful, and we don't let that stuff stew. We yell sometimes, and we fight sometimes, but we always know that we'll make up, and we always know that we're really fighting for our relationship, not about some little silly thing one of us did.<br /><br />I've watched my parents (who are celebrating 27 years of marriage in October) my whole life, and I know it takes work and sacrifice to make a good marriage, and I look at how much they love each other and how good they are to each other and I know that it's not always going to be easy, but it will always be worth it.Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18322614204354706684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post-20791538648859763062009-02-28T06:49:00.000-08:002009-02-28T06:49:00.000-08:00Alicia,Thanks for coming by, and kudos to you and ...Alicia,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for coming by, and kudos to you and your new hubby for valueing your marriage enough to go through counseling 3 times before you got married. May I recommend following up around your anniversary with the person that did your premarital if possible. There are a to of things that you will think you are prepared for only to find that theory doesn't match up with reality. After that if you can do something to build your marriage every 6 months or so you will have a strong marriage even in the hardest of times, which unfortunately will come.<BR/><BR/>Of course some of those things might be a matter of reading a relationship book like <I>The 5 love languages</I> <B>together</B> and discussing it, but every so often you will want to go to a marriage retreat or even go into marriage and family counseling for a few sessions.Nick the Geekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09494956043889392219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8476902858280070450.post-54738252137850015802009-02-27T07:51:00.000-08:002009-02-27T07:51:00.000-08:00I saw your posting on stuff Christians like, and t...I saw your posting on stuff Christians like, and thought I'd throw in my two cents.<BR/><BR/>I agree with this. Marriage does take work, but people have a mentality that work is bad, but it doesn't have to be. We want things to be instantaneous and easy but that's not how things always work.<BR/><BR/>I am newly married (about 6 months) and we went through counseling twice-once before we got engaged and then actual premarital counseling. Both helped in different ways and I'm so glad we did it. It's easier to call a relationship off before you get engaged and we wanted to make sure we were headed in the right direction and we learned some valuable communication skills. Premarital counseling was mostly a review, but a good one nonetheless. <BR/><BR/>Anyway, just wanted to give kudos to your decision to not marry a couple that isn't ready. If only more ministers felt that way, it would save a lot of newlyweds a lot of heartache.Alihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00155623524712809844noreply@blogger.com